Life is Precious!

I should be asleep right now! It's the weekend, my boys are asleep, and I could actually be getting my 7-8hrs of recommended sleep for the night but I'm lying awake thinking about how precious life is.

Last weekend was our last weekend spent with my extended family and it was such a special time. Yes we were crammed into a tiny condo, yes it was LOUD (like "I can't even think in here" loud), yes I got frustrated many times, BUT spending time with my grandma, aunts, uncle, cousins, parents, siblings, and all the kids was amazing. Life is precious and we need to remember that. We hustle and bustle around in our day to day lives and forget about the little things. The things that make someone smile.

I am so guilty of zoning out when I get home from work and rushing through the nightly routine just to get to bed time (I hope I'm not the only mom that does that!) I realize I need to do a better job of being present, spending time playing with my boys, answering "why?" for the millionth time because before I know it these sweet precious boys we created will be all grown up.

Our littlest is almost 16 months and is so funny and so adorable but very opinionated and very loud. Maybe it's because he's a screamer, maybe it's because he is always soooo busy, or maybe it's because he and his brother fight, but sometimes I find myself wishing he would grow up and then I think about it and realize I need to be better with patience. Yes it is challenging to have two children 2 1/2 years apart, and yes my little guy is much more active than his older brother was at this age but I'm not ready to not have a baby anymore (I'm actually grieving the idea that this might be our last baby!). I'm not ready to not be able to sit and rock a sweet little boy before bedtime. There are so many nights I go to bed feeling so guilty for yelling at my boys, or saying hurtful things, or even wishing away the time in my head. I wish I could take it all back. I hope my boys know that I love them more than anything and that I would do anything for them.

Parenting is the HARDEST job you will ever have! I fail at it every single day. I am a work in progress but I hope to teach my boys love and forgiveness. I need to remember to reframe my thoughts to positive and appreciate everything about this time and about life in general. Our time on earth is short and we never know when we will be called Home, so squeeze your families a little tighter, give kisses, put your phone down to play for 5 minutes, really listen to what someone has to say, and remember to always always say "I love you!"

Ending story: I always end conversations with my family with "I love you" and one day when I was little (probably middle school age) my grandma asked me why I did that and I told her because if something ever happened to one of us before we talked or saw each other again, I wanted her to know how much I love her. Even if I am mad at or frustrated with my hubby, before I get off the phone I will always say "I love you"...think about it :)